Subjective Narrative Voice Attitude

Cardiff Hoffman –Terry



#1 Narrative Voice Attitude


  1. Narrative voice attitude: subjective
  2. Reader should feel: like they were there with me

That morning we got up I knew the day came to go to Knott’s Berry Farm. The car ride was long and tiring. When we finally got there I was excited and full of energy, like I could fly. The lines were so long to get in they reached the parking lot. We had to join the ranks and get in line to make our way in.

The buildup and anticipation was almost too much for me to handle; I felt like I was a lit box of TNT. Just before I couldn’t take it anymore we were in! I saw huge crowds of people going here and there. I smelled fresh warm buttery popcorn being popped.

We went on every ride we could go on except Leucadia who was too small. We went to camp snoopy where there were plenty of rides for her.

At the end of the day daddy wanted him and I to go on the “big rollercoasterGhost Rider. I wanted to go on it but I didn’t have enough courage built up to ride it. Until he finally, was able to talk me into going; so away we went to the line. We waited, and waited and waited some more. For over two hours. It was night, it was dark, and was very cold. During our time in line I listened and heard the sound of people walking, talking and waiting with excitement as we listened to the others screaming as the roller coaster sped down the rail and seemed to drop into the dark night. Then the rain clouds covered the sky. We made it into the rollercoaster car just in time it to start raining. After being secured in our seats we slowly crept off up the endless hill. The track was so dimly lit it was tormenting as we made our first of many terrifying drops. All I could think was; is this ever going to end. When the ride stopped I was so thrilled to get off because I was so affright and shaking faster than a Chihuahua.


Subjective Voice Narrative

The poor old man had grown very weak and pathetic. He lived alone in the mountains at least 50 miles from the nearest town.

The snow fall had been dangerous and unusually high that year, trapping him in his house for a month. He had been without food for a week now. He found himself very scared and hungry. He was in a desperate situation.

The only way out of his house was through a small window. His one chance to stay alive was to trap the rabbit he spotted the other day. He put out the trap and waited. It was near. The small rabbit was having a hard time digging down deep enough to get to any of the dried grasses and the small limbs of the bushes it had to eat. The trap snapped shut.


By Cardiff Hoffman-Terry